One of the worst things about being a widow is the lack of privacy!!
My husband and I always valued our privacy. We hated the “pop-in”. Oh, my husband especially hated it when people dropped by unannounced. Text or call first.
Well ever since he died, even now, a year later, everyone just pops in unexpectedly to “check on” me.
God forbid if I don’t answer my phone or call people back within 5 minutes. People come banging on my door thinking I’m dead!
Maybe I didn’t pick up the phone because I don’t feel like talking at that very moment. Maybe I’m in the shower! Maybe I’m taking a nap! Maybe I’m taking a poo!
Before my husband died, I never let anyone see me without makeup. Now I feel like everyone in town has seen me make-up free and bra-less!!
From workmen who don’t schedule appointments and just show up on whatever day at whichever time – and catch me off guard every single time – to friends, who mean well, but show up without letting me know they’re coming.
Once in awhile is fine, but it’s ALL the time ever since my husband died! It’s like my household boundaries were buried along with my husband! Please understand, I’m so very grateful to have people who love me and care if I’m okay, but the constant pop-ins have gotten old!
It’s difficult when I’ve been up all night, if I had a bad night and couldn’t sleep, I’m still in pj’s, no make-up and feeling miserable – and people show up at my door, super happy and full of energy and that zest for life that I used to have, but no longer have. It’s inconvenient, embarrassing to be seen looking disheveled, and it’s irritating!
So if I don’t answer, leave me be! I’m not always available just because my husband is gone! And for God’s sake, don’t bang down the door! I’m not dead, I AM A GRIEVING WIDOW!!!!