Immediately after my husband died, I instantly experienced to my core, the life lesson that up until this point was always a cliche, but now was a cold, hard truth-slap across the face. And that was the realization that, oh my God, you really can’t take anything with you!
His body was still here, all his stuff, all his guitars, all his favorite things, and his clothes and shoes that were his style, his hobbies and tools in the garage, kayaks, cars, and everything that seemed to make him, him – it was all still here, but he was just gone.
Here is what I’ve come to realize over these past few months: Everything in your life is meant to flow; people, places, things, money, emotions – all of it. Just like you drink water and it flows through your body, and you can’t hold onto it forever, it’s the same with your life. Everything and everyone, it’s all energy that’s meant to come into your life. We are spiritual beings, here to experience life in the physical realm. We are supposed to experience life by letting it flow through us, rather than hold onto it. Everything and everyone is just passing through.
So the hard truth and the lesson is: Let it all flow and then let it all go. You can’t hold on to a single thing. It’s not in our power. People come into our life for a season and we have no idea for how long. Just like we may live in a certain place for a time. Our belongings will be with us for a certain amount of time. Your house, your decor, your personal things, your family, your friends, your job – it’s all in your life just for a time, and you can’t take any of it, any of them, with you.
Jobs change, relationships can change, you may move to a new place, people come in and out of your life, and people even die. It’s all transitory. Every detail of your life, no matter how seemingly stable it is, is fleeting and transitory, and that’s okay. It was designed that way.
So as you move through your grief and loss, remember that emotions too, must flow. Don’t hold onto your emotions. Don’t stuff them down. You’re not “a trooper” if you keep pushing on, despite how you feel. Emotions are meant to be felt. Again, we were designed that way by God. Emotions exist for a reason. And we were made in God’s image, so don’t deny that part of you, thinking it’s bad to show emotions. There is tremendous healing power in them. Let them flow. Let them wash over you. Feel them flow through you, then release them and let them go. And you’ll go through this process countless times and that’s good. Continue to let them cleanse you and heal you as they move through you.
If you hold them in, or continually distract yourself or numb yourself, and don’t acknowledge them so you don’t have to feel the difficult feelings, they will come out eventually. They will not be stopped forever. There’s no avoiding it. All of these emotions are your truth. The truth of what you’re going through and what you’ve been through. And the truth always comes out. So decide to set them free. Otherwise, they will manifest later into something worse, whether as sickness, anger, addiction, ruined relationships, resentment, bitterness, weight gain, disease, etc.
This flow principal is the same for every aspect of your life, including your finances. Let money flow in and out of your life. Be generous and don’t hoard it. Be responsible of course, but God wants you to share what He’s blessed you with, with those in need. By doing this, giving cheerfully to others, He will continue to bless you financially because you are obeying Him. The Bible says, test this and see. But no matter what belief system you ascribe to, generosity is a universal truth. When you are generous with your time and money, and act with a humble heart of service, you will be blessed. That’s a proven fact. Like I said, test it and see for yourself.
Everything is designed to flow in and out of your life in an endless cycle of waves. And I’ve learned through my grieving process, that it’s the same with people. Even the ones we hold most dear. We are all souls flowing in and out of each other’s lives. We’re here to love one another, help one another, and teach one another.
When someone we love most in the world dies, it’s tragic. We cling tightly to those we love and we don’t want to ever let go. And the bigger the love, the more breath is taken out of us when they die. A piece of us is gone. A part of us has died and we are no longer the same. But we have to let them go.
The brutal part is we have no say in the matter. The only choice we’re left with is to either cling to our sorrow, or let them flow, and let them go. Like a breath. We breathe them in deep while they’re with us, then we must exhale, thank them and bless them on their journey, and then let them go.
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