Lessons I’ve Learned in My Husband’s Death

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Speak Life Into Everything.

BREAK FREE FROM WORRYING, because it doesn’t add a single day to your life, just like the Bible says. I’m middle aged, and I’ve spent my ENTIRE life worrying about every little thing, as if I could control anything at all. I’ve learned that even if you stress yourself out, trying to manage every detail of your life in order to prevent anything bad from happening, you can’t control every possible scenario. All you’re accomplishing is robbing yourself of the joy that is found in the present moment. Because when a tragedy strikes, through no fault of your own, and there’s nothing you could have done to stop it, you suddenly realize that all of those years of worrying were for nothing. You’ll wish you could go back in time and soak up every second of joy again, but this time, without it being tainted by worrying about the future.

By worrying, you’re actually adding energy into creating what you DON’T want! Not that you can control the future, but worry just robs you of your present happiness.

WATCH YOUR WORDS because every word you say has power. Speak life into everything. Life and death are in the power of the tongue, again just like the Bible says! DON’T complain. Only speak aloud what you want to happen. Don’t verbalize what you don’t want to happen. You’re only feeding your fears and attracting them. In my grief I’ve had so much guilt over the years I spent complaining to my spouse about trivial things. And I considered myself a pretty positive person! I feel so bad for the stress I must have caused him. He just wanted me to be happy. Complaining is just a bad habit that most of us need to break. In reality, you can be very happy with your life, but still come home from work and get trapped in the rut of complaining about your day, the office politics, and what went wrong that day instead of right. It’s human nature, but it doesn’t have to be that way if we’re aware of it.

WATCH YOUR THOUGHTS. Thoughts are energy, whether negative or positive. Your repeated thoughts over time can actually create your reality.

Don’t spend your days doing what makes you unhappy. Spend your time doing what makes you happy! Life is way too short for anything less. When a loved one dies, you become acutely, painfully aware of just how short life is.

The over-arching lesson is that your perception of your life BECOMES your life. So as much as you can, think about the people, places and things that make you happy, focus on your dreams and goals rather than your problems, speak positively about yourself, your life, and others. Be so consumed with positive thoughts, words and emotions, that there’s no room for worry to fill your mind. You may actually change the path and outcome of your life. And if life blindsides you with something you didn’t want, these practices will still help you be resilient enough to survive and thrive, despite anything life throws at you.

Make lists of things you love to help you. That way, in times of stress, when your mind goes blank or you’re too mad or emotional to think of a single thing that makes you happy, all you have to do is refer to your list. List every dream you’ve ever had. List people, places and things that make your heart light up. List things you’ve always wanted to try and places you’ve always wanted to go. Make a happiness bucket list of sorts. Trust me, this helps in times of trouble. And you won’t be able to write it during the stressful situation. Have this list prepped and at the ready.

Some things happen in life that can’t be avoided. We’re here on earth to learn and some lessons are extremely painful. Keep the above lessons in mind, keep the faith, turn away from your problems and turn to God, and He will see you through.


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